Jane Kur

Since when does dream become reality?

Some left over sensations that has been suppressed

Hoped that they will eventually deteriorate and vanish

Few rare elements that are surprisingly powerful

How would the dead feel when they’re brought back to life?

Is it necessarily a refreshing and liberating thing,

Or a merely past lifetime path that should be left behind?

And which one would satisfy them more?

Do the strong strife for future hopes

Or do the hopeful endure for what’s worth itself?

JK

Winter is here again

Ah, what a reminiscence

I can see people with their familiar faces

I can clearly taste the winter dishes that I often had

The grassy hills, with a warm touch of sun

This familiar smell, this homely air.

Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn

It goes by and by and life past me by

A lot of smiles, a lot of cries

And a hell lot of everything else.

From playground to university,

From comics to textbooks

And then it grew to offices and houses

And now, maturity and responsibility.

Yet in this solitude, I yearn for something much more

Something that would stay through the seasons

Winter me, Spring me, Summer me, Autumn me

And after it’s done, we’ll do it all over again.

JK

It’s hard staying in solitude as
twenty-first century adults. We are in the midst of romantically evolved
society where coupledom is overly commercialised, where most mothers are
brainwashed with the melodramatic soaps with endless twists and unpredictable
turnouts, overlapping affairs and unbelievably hot casts. This booming
romantical shift penetrates all ages and generations, even our primary
youngsters are encouraged of early hitch to avoid future lonesome misery.

It is simply easier to stay with someone
you “can live with” rather than really seeking someone that you want to
be with. It is simply easier to get a paying day job, spend the weekend with a
partner, own a flat-screen TV on an apartment with a twenty-year loan, and
suddenly you’re a renewed and complete human. How true is the equation: “1+1 =
1”? Or, in a neo-Shakespearean cheesy terminology, “you complete me”?

People seem to grab whatever job that was
served on their plate, without questioning and exploring their inner yearn of
their callings in life. Then something that started as a hot fuelled engine
slowly deteriorates and remains in a constant stationary point, realizing that
they’re doing something rather pointless and emotionally stagnant. And then people starts to question life,
and their purpose in life. But by then their age has got them down and they
gave up on ever finding the answers altogether, and spend the rest of their
non-working days playing golf instead.

It is comfortable, yes. It is also easy,
yes. It is safe.

But does it worth your life?

In Anglo-Saxon and more westernized
culture, we believe that humans are entitled to one mortal life and one life only.
This means that if we screw up once, we screw up big time. It takes you to the
small noisy tuckshop hall when you were in primary school, and on hand you have
the dollar that your mother gave you that morning. You could only pick one
candy, or a bar of caramel slice. You can’t decide which one is best, but if
you pick the worse off, you have to settle with it for the rest of the day. Unfortunately,
our lives are not century-long one dollars and we don’t get to wait until the
next life-day to trade our life currencies.

So what do we do?

Some of us decided to rush with the first
opportunity that came, and stuck with it for the next seventy-eighty years.
Some hung around and see what ‘bus’ would come next. Some never even realized
that they’ve missed all their chances and that they’re only sitting waiting for
the whole thing to end.

Is it scary? Is it challenging? Is it fun?

One thing I know: it’s real.

I guess at the end of it, no one can really
judge on how others spend their lives; professionally, spiritually, or
romantically. We only know what we know, and we don’t know what we don’t know.
At least we all give it a shot, and after we decide on what to get, we’ll cross
our fingers and hope for the best that the tuckshop lady makes the best caramel
slice that day.

JK

Music is not a delicate orchestration of pretty notes

Embedded with harmonious layers of foundation and extension
of chords

It is not based upon a metronomic pulse

With a loud thump that leads and lags around it.

A scream is not a mere high pitch projected in loud volumes

Nor a cry as a sheer drops of eye rain

All is empty. All is shallow. Meaningless and fruitless.

Without a deep soul and reason behind it.

What makes a man if not a true respect and understanding of
life?

Virtue, Honour, Humility, Respect, Compassion, Love.

What makes a woman if not an everlasting love and patience?

Virtue, Honour, Humility, Respect, Compassion, Love.

What makes Love if not overflowing joy?

It is not made of kisses, nor hugs, nor bunches of flowers.

Not of days, months, years, or decades that passes by.

But a deep understanding and acceptance of two hearts that
meet as one.

JK

They say sisterhood is the strongest bond of all

Amongst the many types of relationships, it is the most
faithful and humble

During the time of tears and laughter, there we were

Three youthful spirits, three different minds, connected to
one love

Through the repetition of four seasons, we grew and matured

There were bed time horror stories, endless phone calls from
anonymous admirers,

Love stories sharing and consulting, and those late night
girl talks

Sometimes we’d do crazy things, and sometimes we’d do nothing
at all.

Regardless, they were all priceless times.

But now, one of us has gone

She’s left her youthful life behind, and stepped into the
age of adulthood

With one lucky gentleman on her side,

Together they will embrace their bright future together.

With these words I give you my blessings

With it comes prayer for happiness, health and eternal love.

Although things will never be the same again without you

I will always keep our memories and come back to yesterdays

Love always,

JK

Tak terlihat, namun terasa

Tak berbentuk, tapi berbekas

Tak terkatakan, namun terungkap

Tak pernah ada, tapi selalu berjumpa

Kan kuminum merah anggur cintamu

Kan kuhisap manis madu rindumu

Dan kudekap erat kelembutan gairah panasmu

Sampai cinta agung ini mengangkat kita keluar dari dunia fana

JK

Do you think of me at night ?
Do you miss me when there’s no one by your side ?
When you see love on people’s eyes
and their intertwined hands
Do you wish you can turn back the time ?

Maybe he does,
Maybe not
Maybe yesterday’s memories have passed
and vanished into a hidden black hole

Maybe I’m suffering,
Maybe I’m indulging
This past memories are taking over me
I’m not necessarily grieving
I’m in a rather ecstatic low

I’m not a masochist, no
Just a mere human
embracing all aspects of humanity

And for this valuable experience
that I never had before
I thank you.

JK

Sydney is one of the world’s top three most romantic cities, so they say. From the famous Friday night until the end of Sunday, the parks, streets, harbours, beach, club, and any other public spots around the city are filled with couples. Hands held, shoulders hugged, waists embraced…

Amongst the romantic psychedelic that happens around me, I found romance simply exhaustive, time and energy consumptive, and merely unnecessary.

Too many people have spent too much of their time on relationships, that more often than not doomed to end eventually. There are many fish at the ocean, yes, but there are many nights you need to be out there fishing. And while you can sometimes catch them, it takes a great deal of effort to actually keep them.

As I try to move back in time, I admire the simplicity of love stories and romance that was the mainstream tradition three generations back. I remember my grandmother used to tell me that her first acquaintance with her husband was on their wedding day. Regardless of a lack of initial chemistry, their relationship flourished into a thirteen members plutonic family. And their love endures even after my grandfather no longer exists in blood and flesh..

The standard lifestyle of our society has evolved so much that many of our life sector are left with too many options. Too many people get too confused with their life choices. Am I gay, or am I straight? Am I a Catholic or Christian? Buddhist or Hindus? Religious or Atheist? Breadwinner mother or stay at home father? Straight, honest mundane existence or crazy, short-lived satisfying life? Too much variety has been accepted, leaving people confused with their too many life decisions to decide.

Could these complexities be the starting grounds of relationship obscurities? The 21st century coupledom is now filled with endless code deciphering. No means yes, yes means maybe,…. what certain words really mean, what particular gestures suggests,…. the list is endless!

Can our lifestyle be turned back to the Simpleville era where yes means yes and no means no? The society has evolved so far from its predecessors that we now refuse to go back to our ancient, non-evolved and hence, demeaning mindset.

Maybe it’s the pre-conditioned autonomous habit that we all experience during this turn of the century. Maybe it’s the human egocentricity to abandon anything that is perceived as of a lower degree of existence, of intelligence, of mentality.

Unlike anything mainstream, at the beginning of my journey I consciously realize that I’m missing, I’m wanting, I’m craving.
Desiring the undesirable.

JK

Amidst the flying arrays,
with endless twists of spiral lines
where everything are everywhere
and everywhere is anywhere,
two paths intersected.

Before anything,
there was the parrallel line.

Not curvy, not bouncy,
hell, not even zig-zaggy.

And then something happened.

They started to draw against each other,
twirl with one another, pushing and dancing together,
they almost form an auroras sky.

In the midst of the darkness,
their flare sends a sense of comfort,
of youth, of rejuvenation, of life.

Alas, like everything else,
changes take place.

For if one is wise enough,
one will understand
that the only constant thing in this world
is change.

Originated from opposite direction,
driven by different momentum,
the two arrays must continue their journeys.

Determined, indifferent, unbothered,
they sailed along through the universal space.
Each leaving a fraction of themselves behind,
and gained a little of something else.

JK

I’ve conquered seas, and islands, and continents
I’ve travelled many miles from home, to make the next home
I’ve seen a lot of people and made a lot of friends
I’ve spoken a thousand language and laughed hundreds of smiles

Yet the more I travelled,
The more I realize that I’m missing what I’m searching
And I’m losing what I’m earning
I’m digging a hole on an ocean’s shore

Am I trying to find what I don’t yet have?
Or am I trying to run away from what I have?
This dark hurricane is playing me
I’m twisting, I’m trippin, I’m lost.    I’m lost.

Then home came to me.
And for once, it stays there.
It didn’t leave when I left, it didn’t turn its back when I abandoned it.
Finally, I can rest this mind in peace.

JK